He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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