physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
