New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
