I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
