No period for spring break; use this wisely.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Found the puke drawer
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize