I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
