There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Randomize
