girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
A+ Viking dick
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize