Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
