....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
