not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
