Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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