At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
