3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
