Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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