Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
