Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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