she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
