it's like iHOP with fire
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
