worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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