One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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