The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
