I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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