When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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