Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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