Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
