In the future we'll all be gay
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
