just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
