please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
