Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
