i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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