I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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