her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
