In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
