Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
