Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
