the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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