Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
