found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
