i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
