i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
