Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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