garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
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