my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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