My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.