ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
We had sex on a dog bed..
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.