2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Randomize
