i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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