My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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