Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I won't apologize to a one balled man
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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