I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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