she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
