a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
