No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Randomize
