I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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