your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
