NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
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