I bet he comes in French.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
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