then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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