She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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