you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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